Remember when children who stared out the window during class were considered “bad”? Well, now there are a million other things to get distracted by, and the birds are by far the least of our problems.

I have a client who introduced me recently to her internal Distractor. Getting the chance to meet this Distractor has been great—because now my own internal Distractor is starting to unblend from me, and I am getting to know him.

He’s kind of a champ. My Distractor is the part of my system that makes me look away from whatever I’m supposed to be doing. He’s the one who says: Eh, this is boring! Plan imaginary vacations!

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But he fills me with shame because he busts in when he’s seemingly least welcome. When things get hard. When I am bored, When I’m uncomfortable.

I’m starting to appreciate that my Distractor protects the playful part of me. That childlike part feels as though work is demanding too much of my attention and won’t take no for an answer. My Diligent part says: Read this dense article the psychodynamic relationship. Whereas my Distractor is the child who just wants to imagine what I would do with a huge redecorating budget.

A client told me recently he used to play sick to stay home from school, and spend the whole day spacing out in front of TV with tea and toast. Though he often ended up feeling guilt and shame, he knew on some level the Distractor had done him a favor—letting his mind wander, letting him laugh at stupid game shows, and letting him leave the chaos of school where he was often lost.

I have started to welcome my Distractor as having its own wisdom. To listen to the truant part of me that says you can still be a kid! Take a moment and plan, create, imagine.

I would love to help you get to know your Distractor and pay attention to whatever its needs are so it can maybe begin to step aside a bit with the knowledge that a dopamine hit will soon be on the way!